Tales and Pantsuits

Sue: I grew up in a liberal household. Republicans were bad. Democrats good. Bill and Hillary cured me of that belief in the mid 90s. Scandal after scandal, and through it all the Democratic party carried water for them. Don’t get me started on feminists and Bill Clinton.

Jane: Please. I was raised by Republicans who drove Fords and went to Baptist Churches. They used Tide, Colgate and Dial soap, and that was that. Back in the 80s and 90’s I’d watch those Clinton scandals hit the cover of Enquirer, and then watch ole Bill on TV. He’d bite his lip when he lied about his innocence. Women were his biggest fans.

Sue: What a cheat.

Jane:  Republicans called him Slick Willy. Back in those days I barely noticed Hillary. She seemed like a doormat. It was sad and gross, all of it.

Sue: It was a shit show and the media gave him a pass.

Jane: It’s just getting worse, the lying, the free passes.

Sue: It’s all stagecraft. Smoke and mirrors.

Jane: Obama is a brilliant magician. He could be a Dark Lord, or a hostage to the Global Elite. Either way he cast a spell on the Left and they won’t call him on jack.

Sue: He’s good.

Jane: So good that the High Priestess of Chaos thought she could borrow his cloak  and wand for another 8 years.

Sue: A cad, a magician and a queen. You can see why Democrats didn’t turn out this year.

Jane: Enter the Court Jester.

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Sue: I still cannot believe Americans just elected Donal Trump.

Jane: The man is a force of nature. He might be the promised one, or he might be the great destroyer. I have no idea. I am pretty sure he is not from the same plane as the others. He’s craftier and way more powerful than any of the other enter-trainment specialist currently on stage.

Sue: Do you think he’ll do us in?

Jane: He’s such a hotheaded bully. I hope to never come within 100 yards of him, unless of course I am called to a more noble purpose. Which I sort of doubt.

Sue: A noble purpose?

Jane: I kid. I mean I would hardly be on the speed dial of anyone over at KillCheetohClub. Nope. Not me. I am non-violent.

Sue: Well I’m glad we won’t have to watch your trial on TV. Stay clear of the troublemakers. There will be plenty crawling out of the woodworks.

Jane: You mean like the frauds over at the Washington Post. My god the propaganda. Sounds minds have to call bullshit, Sue.

Sue: I never thought I would see libertarians and progressives coalescing as much as I have in this last election. We both tried to wake people up to 3rd party candidates. Democrats wouldn’t hear it.

Jane: The vote with your vagina t-shirts. Was that a joke?

Sue: You know sometimes, as a lesbian I feel restricted.

Jane: How so?

Sue: I feel like being a lesbian is politically restrictive. The others ones tried so hard to box us into the Hillary vote. Lesbians I mean.

Jane: Forget about Lesbians, I haven’t met one of those in years. They all turned Queer and joined the pantsuit nation.

Sue: So true.

Jane: Even the Bis and Straights are Queer. My super-straight hairstylist says she’s a Queer now.

Sue: Did she vote for Hillary?

Jane: Yep. She said she bottom for her.

Sue: I can’t believe you let her touch your scalp.

Jane: Oh she just trying to be hip. It’s edgy or something to call yourself Queer.

Sue: Edgy would be not following trends.

Sue: You know my mechanic is a life long Republican. He loved Kasich.

Sue: I think your nonpartisan.

Jane: Nonpartisan or edgy?

Sue: Take your pick.

Jane: I do like pantsuits, but I’m not wearing one again until after 2020.

Sue: Crew neck or notched lapels?

Jane: I like the Communist look. High collars.

Sue: Green on the outside, Red in the middle.

Jane: Exactly.

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